Colossians 3:21
in Colossians 3Fathers, do not provoke your children, so they will not become discouraged.
BSB
The same verse in ASV and KJV ▾
ASV
Fathers, provoke not your children, that they be not discouraged.
KJV
Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.
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This verse in Colossians 3
Commentary
13 notes on this verseFathers, provoke not your children to anger,.... See Gill on Eph 6:4. lest they be discouraged; or disheartened and dispirited; their spirits be broke through grief and trouble, and they become indolent, sluggish, and unfit for business; or, despairing of having any share in the affections of their parents, disregard their commands, instructions, and corrections, and grow obdurate, stubborn, and rebellious.
This site's exposition
Children, obey your parents in everything
on Colossians 3:20-21
The command Children, obey your parents in everything is grounded as the wives' instruction is, for this is pleasing to the Lord, so obedience is an act of worship. The words Fathers, do not provoke your children balance it at once, so they will not become discouraged, a Greek word for losing heart entirely. The pairing keeps each side from excusing the other's failure.
This site's exposition
Fathers, do not provoke your children
Jamieson, Fausset and Brown note a different verb from Ephesians 6:4, one that means to irritate, and they name constant fault-finding as the way fathers provoke children. Such children lose heart. Barnes adds that children should be encouraged when they do well, lest they give up on pleasing their parents.
The record, by era
The Church Fathers2 voices
We have here the message of the Scriptures which declares: "Children, love your fathers; parents, do not provoke your children to anger." Nature has implanted in beasts the instinct to love their own brood and hold dear their own progeny. But the beasts know nothing of relationsinlaw. Here, parents do not become estranged from their offspring by the act of changing their mates. They know nothing of preferences given to children of a later union to the neglect of those of a former marriage.
Lo! again here also is subjection and love. And he said not, "Love your children," for it had been superfluous, seeing that nature itself constraineth to this; but what needed correction he corrected; that the love should in this case also be the more vehement, because that the obedience is greater. For it nowhere lays down as an exemplification the relation of husband and wife; but what? hear the prophet saying, "Like as a father pitieth his children, so the Lord pitied them that fear Him" (Ps. ciii. 13, Sept.) And again Christ saith, "What man is there of you, whom if his son ask bread, will he give him a stone? or if he ask a fish, will he give him a serpent?" (Matt. vii. 9.) He hath set down what he knew had the greatest power to seize upon them; and whilst commanding them he has spoken more like a friend; and nowhere does he mention God, for he would overcome parents, and bow their tender affections. That is, "Make them not more contentious, there are occasions when you ought even to give way."
The Medieval Church3 voices
Differently to be admonished are subjects and prelates: the former that subjection crush them not, the latter that superior place elate them not: the former that they fail not to fulfil what is commanded them, the latter that they command not more to be fulfilled than is just: the former that they submit humbly, the latter that they preside temperately. For this, which may be understood also figuratively, is said to the former, Children, obey your parents in the Lord: but to the latter it is enjoined, And ye, fathers, provoke not your children to wrath. Let the former learn how to order their inward thoughts before the eyes of the hidden judge; the latter how also to those that are committed to them to afford outwardly examples of good living. For prelates ought to know that, if they ever perpetrate what is wrong, they are worthy of as many deaths as they transmit examples of perdition to their subjects. Wherefore it is necessary that they guard themselves so much the more cautiously from sin as by the bad things they do they die not alone, but are guilty of the souls of others, which by their bad example they have destroyed.
That is, do not pursue with bitterness everything they do. Some things must be overlooked without attention, so as not to make them contradictory and not to subject them to despondency. See what wisdom; how he inclines the heart of parents, and how he draws …
Then when Paul says, fathers, do not provoke your children, he instructs parents: "Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger" (Eph 6:4). They should not do this lest they become discouraged, that is, faint-hearted. Paul gives this advice because adults keep the impressions they …
5 more voices on this verse
The Puritans and the Awakening2 voices
And it is by the tenderness of parents, and dutifulness of children, that God ordinarily furnishes his church with a seed to serve him, and propagates religion from age to age.
3 For ye are dead, and your life is hid with Christ in God. 4 When Christ, who is our life, shall appear, then shall ye also appear with him in glory. The apostle, having described our privileges by Christ in the former part of the epistle, and our discharge from the yoke of the ceremonial law, comes here to press upon us our duty as inferred thence.
quarantine:scripture (2026-07-29) — verbatim-run:30w-of-66
The Nineteenth Century3 voices
A commentator
Albert Barnes1798–1870
Notes, Explanatory and Practical, on the Old and New Testaments (1832-1869)
Fathers, provoke not ... - Notes, Eph 6:4. Lest they be discouraged - Lest, by your continually finding fault with them, they should lose all courage, and despair of ever pleasing you. There is much sound sense and practical wisdom in this observation of the apostle. Children should not be flattered, but they should be encouraged. They should not be so praised as to make them vain and proud, but they should be commended when they do well.
A commentator
Jamieson, Fausset & Brown1802–1910
Commentary Critical and Explanatory on the Whole Bible (1871)
(Eph 6:4.) It is a different Greek verb, therefore translate here, "irritate not." By perpetual fault-finding "children" are "discouraged" or "disheartened." A broken-down spirit is fatal to youth [BENGEL].
Fathers, provoke not - See the notes on Eph 6:4.
The words behind it
10 Greek wordsEvery Greek word of this verse in the order it stands, with what it means and the door to its own study. The last column counts the times a word stands in the whole Bible: the rarer the word, the more the places it appears belong together.
| Greek | Sound | Meaning | Word study | In the Bible |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Οἱ | hoi | you who [are] | G3588 → | 19766 times |
| πατέρες, | pateres | Fathers, | G3962 → | 410 times |
| μὴ | me | not | G3361 → | 1066 times |
| ἐρεθίζετε | erethizete | do provoke | G2042 → | |
| τὰ | ta | the | G3588 → | 19766 times |
| τέκνα | tekna | children | G5043 → | |
| ὑμῶν, | humon | of you, | G4771 → | 2973 times |
| ἵνα | ina | that | G2443 → | 668 times |
| μὴ | me | not | G3361 → | 1066 times |
| ἀθυμῶσιν.¶ | athumosin | they may become discouraged. | G120 → |
Οἱyou who [are]
hoiG3588 →19766 times
πατέρες,Fathers,
pateresG3962 →410 times
μὴnot
meG3361 →1066 times
ἐρεθίζετεdo provoke
erethizeteG2042 →
τὰthe
taG3588 →19766 times
τέκναchildren
teknaG5043 →
ὑμῶν,of you,
humonG4771 →2973 times
ἵναthat
inaG2443 →668 times
μὴnot
meG3361 →1066 times
ἀθυμῶσιν.¶they may become discouraged.
athumosinG120 →
A shaded row is a word that stands 400 times or fewer in the Bible.
The walk
8 stopsEach card is a verse this one points to, and under it the verses that one points to in turn. Where several paths arrive at the same place, that place is listed first: the text keeps returning to it.
Through
Ephesians 6:4Fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath; instead, bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.
it leads to
- Proverbs 22:6
Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it.
- Proverbs 29:15
A rod of correction imparts wisdom, but a child left to himself disgraces his mother.
- Proverbs 19:18
Discipline your son, for in that there is hope; do not be party to his death.
- Deuteronomy 6:7
And you shall teach them diligently to your children and speak of them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.
- Proverbs 22:6
Through
Psalms 103:13As a father has compassion on his children, so the LORD has compassion on those who fear Him.
it leads to
- Luke 11:11–12
What father among you, if his son asks for a fish, will give him a snake instead?
- Hebrews 12:5–11
And you have forgotten the exhortation that addresses you as sons: “My son, do not take lightly the discipline of the Lord, and do not lose heart when He rebukes you.
- Luke 15:21–22
The son declared, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son.’
- Luke 11:11–12
Through
Proverbs 3:12for the LORD disciplines the one He loves, as does a father the son in whom he delights.
it leads to
- Deuteronomy 8:5
So know in your heart that just as a man disciplines his son, so the LORD your God disciplines you.
- Deuteronomy 8:5
Where this verse is studied
About Colossians
This page draws on 11 works. Open the list of works
This page draws on Adam Clarke, Commentary on the Bible; Albert Barnes, Notes, Explanatory and Practical, on the Old and New Testaments (1832-1869); Ambrose of Milan, The Six Days of Creation; Gregory the Dialogist, Pastoral Rule, Part 3, Admonition 5; Jamieson, Fausset & Brown, Commentary Critical and Explanatory on the Whole Bible; John Chrysostom, Homily on Colossians 10; John Gill, Exposition of the New Testament (1746-1748); John Wesley, Explanatory Notes upon the New Testament; Matthew Henry, Commentary on the Whole Bible; Theophylact of Ohrid, Commentary on Colossians and Thomas Aquinas, Commentary on Colossians.